Just a big how 'do to everyone. I am currently posting drunky from a friend's house. Having a blast. Missing the ones I am not with. It's been quite a tumultous year, but I have learned so much. Goodbye to 2004! Fun post to come later!!
Everyone is well now. Presents are all wrapped. Well, almost all. I have had nothing interesting to say this week. I can't believe how fast this month has gone.
Here's something: I'm a wimp. We had no power today for about five hours, and I hated every living minute of it. The only good thing that came of it was that I dusted every surface in my house barring the tops of the ceiling fans. My kids cleaned glass. Other than that, give me power!! I heya heya HATE being without. It was cold and I was bitchy. (Ha! Reminiscent of the last entry).
Here is what I wish for sometimes: The opportunity to go back in time and change things. If you could do that, what would you change?
And, let me just say right up front that it could be SO much worse.
My kids are sick. Greyson has the tummy bug. I will be thankful that it's pre-Christmas.
Delaney is feeling "weird" and also is covered in hives. They've been there over a month. They're getting worse. I fear they are from her beloved cats.
It's cold and I am bitchy.
And of course it does.
Last night, Gene and I ended up in a five minute almost crying hug fest. Will I ever know if we are making the right choice? Likely, no.
The not being sure is absolute torture to a fire sign analytical type like me.
I want a crystal ball for Christmas. Please?
Delaney lost her tooth!!! I'm so so excited. Who is more giddy, Mama or Delaney?
Agh, I am so frustrated. I cannot teach. I am bad at this. Delaney is so far behind. It scares me. No comments no no no. Just venting. Thanks.
the slightest turn of the head, sure point of foot, the soft descent of a hand as if ever so gently delayed by gravity. rhythm commands the dancer, dancer commands the eye, dance defies the laws of physics. nineteen pirouettes long. how can one turn and stop yet not fully stop, so precisely, so many times, so breathlessly? it's so amazing to me what the human body can do. athletics always have impressed folks, or else there'd be no Greek games. but dance is my love. i am awed by the physicality combined with the art. the body as art...i can't stop thinking of the ballerina's hand as she lowered it so gracefully. just that move brought tears. i am entranced, alive.
even more than the dance, i loved watching my daughter as she sat there, magically transformed, dreaming herself on the stage. she is so young, full of dream and promise. the experience is all the more magical with her by my side. she believes in all that is mystical, and because she does, i do. the stars in her eyes remind me of unfettered joy that still lives in me.
tears of hope and renewal bathe my cheeks.
If I am not with my kids, and if I am disconnected from them, I am not me. If I am not writing poetry, I'm not me. If I am not dancing, I'm not me. If I am not in the go and full of energy, it's not Kym in this shell. If I am not giving all I have, full tilt, guess what? Ain't me. If my body doesn't do what I ask of it, then I am not myself. If I can't express myself mentally, emotionally and physically, how can I say it is me?
This is how I define myself. If these factors are not present, then who am I?
"I'm sorry, I had a bad day again".
I wrecked my car in the morning, and I have cancer. Yeah. Cancer. Cervical.
I'm 33 now and my body is falling apart.
No pity party needed. I will deal. I'm just freakin' out.