My big girl is SEVEN today!!!! She's so beautiful and excited!! I can't wait to see her open her wonderful presents!!
YAY!
Exuberantly yours,
Mama
everything takes its toll.
it is nature's law, that
taking, that pull of the tide
against the holding sand.
the sand wants to hold, give
what the ocean will take.
everything is governed by this, so
why am i surprised that
this year's toll
was paid in wakefulness, awareness,
energy, life-force?
why do i look in wonder at
my sunken, narcoleptic eyes?
a dying girls' wish for beauty is
a breathing, fighting woman's
invocation for sweet, simple life.
if the exaction of cancer was
only my physical beauty, then
i'd have lost little, yet
learned less.
the price i paid was
my skin
my energy
my wakefulness.
i am left with
my passion
my pain
my beauty
and my dance.
the sand wants to hold,
to pull against the
pull of the ocean.
the ocean will take what she will.
balance, and the time of the tide
will give back.
i have taken
more than it took from me.
Okay, not by storm. She, being a Virgo, feels that storms are too
chaotic and disorganized. She, being a Virgo, has taken Sanderson
School and tucked everything away, neatly categorized into files.
She, being a Virgo, gave me a nearly hour long speech on the first
day of school. I will summarize the things I have learned about
Being A First Grader.
*Lunch count is the first thing done, and must be done in an orderly
fashion. Delaney's teacher, Mrs. Smith (who I suspect may be a Virgo
or at least, a Capricorn), chooses someone to be in charge of the
lunch count each week. This week, the lunch count job is Delaney's.
This delights her.
*Boys already chase first grade girls and chant "Kissy, kissy".
Delaney handled this by saying "What?? Kissy kissy? We're CHILDREN,
here. Boys, let's play store." She succeeded in turning the boys
into grocery cart getters. I'm astounded.
*Best friends are made on the first day. Delaney's best friend
sounds like a hoot. We will call her K. On the first day of school,
someone hit K. on the arm while no one was looking (suuuuuure), a
boy kicked her in the eye and she went blind (okayyyy) and she was
certain that the drinking fountain was poisoned (oh my, the drama).
*There is no time for science on the first day of school, and Delaney
is concerned with the lack of this most important subject.
My child is so funny! She loves school SOOO much!
Long after I
have stopped fighting, I
will still have this.
I will have the memory of the way
I let myself go
In certain, isolated,
stolen moments.
Long after my battle is done,
I will remember a
Baby's tiny fist held
In the palm of my hand
As I nursed her to sleep.
I will bring to my mind's eye
The vision of a boy-child
Asleep on my chest.
And I will recall
How I let myself go
With you.
When my breath has turned to
Whispy-ash, grey as it sounds,
I will remember
The glow of golden skin.
I will remember what it was to
Live and Love,
And I will regret that I
Enjoyed it so little.
It creeps in slowly, yet it hits me suddenly. Signs of age are all over me now. Silver hairs peek out of the auburn, crow's feet on my eyes. My knees ache when I do my deep squats in Power Up class. I need more sleep now. I can't eat as much. I rebel! I don't want to get old, I'm just getting the knack of living!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, my boy went to his big first day of daycare/preschool today!!!! I'm so pleased with how well he did! He wasn't a bit whiney or clingy tonight, either. I think he actually will do better with more structure. I think I was way too lax these last few months. Bedtime whenever, dinner wherever. He loved it and is looking forward to going back!!!
I would post more, but I'm at the ex's and I am too tired to write more.
Love,
Kym