What woman am I if I am not making the world a better place?
The last time I worked as a substitute teacher, I approached it all wrong. I tried to get everything done perfectly. I tried to keep order with threats (not meanness, just threats like "If you all don't sit down, I'll take a point from you, blah blah blah". Empty threats. Threats that didn't carry through to anything concrete. I spent my time fretting and nervous. I didn't enjoy it much, though I tried extra hard to do a good job.
I still don't love subbing. But I don't hate it now, either. My main mission every day I go in is no longer to do the job to perfection. My mission as I go in is to love the students.
Doesn't that sound hokey? I know it does, but it's true. That is my motivation each day. With that as my foundation, I do much better. I roll with it better, too, knowing that all will not be lost if I don't perform to perfection.
Also, with love as my backdrop, I can see each student, even the annoying ones, in a better light. Every kid at that school is someone's beloved daughter or son. And if they aren't beloved, I must love them even more.
I am not where I most want to be, but I am here. I let love flow through me, and in return, it will teach me. And it will hold me up. And it will guide me to where I belong.
I could blow your mind just telling you what I've done today! Just TODAY.
Read behind the cut line for a peek into my jam-packed, never boring, fun-filled world.
Let's see. Let us begin on Friday, September 22. I give my kids to Katye so I can run home and cute up for a reception Jay and I were going to. We were supposed to go to it earlier in the month, but it had been postponed. Jay is running about ten minutes late, but all is well. We get to Nelsonville at around 5:45, only to find out that the open house/reception only lasts until 6:00 p.m.!! Nobody had told us at ALL. Pissed off, Jay doesn't even want to go in. He calls his friends from the parking lot and asks if they've eaten yet. They haven't. So, we drive back to Logan, play some pool, and then go out to eat with them.
Saturday, I went to Jazzercise in Reynoldsburg with my friend Michele. It was a killer class. Got home, picked up the kids from Gene, and went over to Jay's to see what he was doing on the house. He had ten tons (yes, you read that correctly-ten tons) of pea gravel mixed with...ummm...a larger kind of gravel, the name of which I don't recall, delievered that morning at 8 a.m. He was shoveling out the pile. He had set up the free swingset we'd scored for the kids, too, and the gravel is for underneath it. The bigger rocks are for decoration, etc.
So anyway, we went home and I made the kids macaroni and grapes while I ate Mexican leftovers. Then the kids and I actually sat still and watched School of Rock. I constantly folded, washed, and dried laundry while this was going on.
Jay called and said that he would love to have us come over and see what else he'd been up to, and also, would I help him? Sure! So I grubbed up the kids in some playclothes, and off we went. I was still skanky from Jazzercise.
When we got there, we saw that the gravel was beginning to be put down, the deck (built a scant two weeks ago) was bedecked (ha!!) with large stepping stones, and a fishy pond was being dug out, right beside the brand new bricked in firepit. The kids alternately played on the swingset and climbed the gravel mountain while I shoveled pea gravel into wheelbarrows to heavy for me to move. While Jay would move the gravel that I'd shoveled, I sorted through and got the big, heavy rocks to set aside. I worked like that for two hours. Nary a break. Well, just a couple.
The kids were getting misty-rained on and cold, so I stripped them to their underwear, gave them old t-shirts, threw their disgustingly filthy shoes in the wash, and then sent them to Mackenzie's room to play. I worked a little more, then came inside to shower myself.
Went home. It was near six p.m. Time for dinner. I can't remember what I made, but I can remember that I cooked it. I'm sure it was quite simple. I did quite a bit of tidying, too. Exhausted, I went to bed at a nice decent time that night.
Sunday morning, Greyson woke up earlier than usual with a cough. He loves to come down to my room and get into bed with me for a few minutes. We went upstairs just as Delaney was coming down. The kids popped a video and I made cinnamon muffins and bacon. The kids wanted hot tea, and I had Irish breakfast decaf for them. I made a nice pot of coffee and we had a nice little breaktast,I cleaned up from that and made the kids clean their upstairs rooms, which weren't too bad, just cluttery. I cleaned house for a good long time, including bathrooms, mopping, etc, because the kids were having fun playing pony and master (that's what they called it!)
Gene came to get them around noon. I was almost done cleaning and didn't want to quit, so I cleaned cobwebs and corners, dusted, put lots of laundry and things away, etc.
Then, I went over to Jay's. We worked inside for a bit, then decided to get some lunch. By this time, it was nearly 2. We made the mistake of going over to BW3 on a Sunday afternoon. Football. We ran into our friends upstairs and ended up staying there too long. Workday's wasting! I got back to Jay's in a carb-loaded stupor. I hadn't had any beer, I was just sleepy. So I laid down for what was supposed to be thirty minutes, but turned into more when Jay woke me up and attacked!!! Rawwwwrrrrrrrrr. Afternoon delight is all I have to say there.
Feeling vaguely guilty that I hadn't done any hard work outside, I put myself back to the task of shoveling that damned gravel. I worked in it for two hours again, only pausing to help JJ do the framing for the living room ceiling.
Had to run home, stop at a store, and get a shower, because I was having some friends from poetry over for chats and snacks. They arrived at 8:30 and stayed until 11. Didn't get to bed until midnight at least.
The next morning, I subbed for a CD class at Sherman Jr. High. That night, I had hip hop, and did all the rigmarole of helping with homework, etc. etc.
Today, I subbed for Tim Russell's Latin classes at Lancaster High School. Although I had a delightful day, I was sleepy in the afternoon. After school, I got Laney from Sanderson, picked up Grey from the Russell's, went to Delaney's ballet class, ran Grey over to Gene, went to Delaney's haircut, took Delaney to look at the doll store, ran back to get Greyson from Gene, went home, cooked a meal, cleaned up from it, changed over some laundry, looked at Delaney's school work, swept the kitchen, made a lunch for tomorrow, helped Greyson with his preschool homework, helped Delaney study for a test, got on the internet for like twenty minutes, made kids brush teeth, read three stories, tucked in, and whew! Here I am!
Tomorrw: More of the same.
Okay, I need some help here. Every single afternoon that I am home, I get SO sleepy that I just want to sink into a nap. I can eat a lot or a little, so it seems like lunch content and size have no effect on my narcoleptic tendencies in the afternoons. But oh my heavens, it sucks. I just feel like total sleepy crap until around 4.
Help?