I'm working on an entry requested by Kym who stole the concept from Debra, who stole it from Toni (neither of whose links I can get to work so find them at Kym's site). She's making me do this. So blame her. Really. But, it's something I need to create first with a word processing program and not online I think, because I'm needing too much time for counting and stuff like that...
For your reading in the meantime, I offer a list of the jobs I have held in my life. Because I was in the middle of a conversation the other day and once again realized that I have had lots of jobs, any of which could have been a viable career but instead I am just drifting again... apparently rudderless. But maybe not. Appearances can sometimes be deceiving. Here's the list:
Babysitter -- but I was really bad at it and didn't do it much, made me too nervous and I ended up calling my mom all the time in a panic.
Information Booth Hostess (and crew leader), Opryland USA What a boring and truly idiotic job. I had this red white and blue 100% polyester uniform -- a plaid circle skirt, a sleeveless blouse with a huge bow at the neck and a hideous navy blazer with red piping. "Are all your members in the park?"
Office Assistant (& pseudo paralegal), Warlick, Todd & Huffstutter, This was also not terrific, but I was just back from Scotland and way too full of myself to go back to Opryland. At least it was air-conditioned and I got to meet Dan Warlick, who was the medical examiner working the autopsy of Elvis. "Look," Dan would say, "I had his larynx in one hand and his left lung in the other. Trust me, the man's dead!"
Office Assistant, Office of the Vice President for Academic Affairs, The College of Wooster This job rocked until I was filing tenure paperwork and found an evaluation I'd written for a prof who really wasn't as terrific as I'd thought she was during my freshman year. Ooooooh, that was a spooky feeling!
Most Incompetent Server in the History of Food Service, The Olive Garden Never work as a waitress when you are profoundly depressed. I cried so much at work that they used to make me go sit in the meat locker -- aka the freezer -- until I could calm down. My average take home pay, after tipping out the bar and the bussers was $8 per day.
Opening Shift Crew Leader & Manager Trainee, Wendy's This was a hellish experience all around. I never want to do this again. Please!
Library Photocopier Attendant, University of Wisconsin Basically this involved sitting around reading my stuff for grad school, which I was doing full time while working this job and the full-time Wendy's gig. Every hour or so I made the rounds of all the copiers all over the building -- there are about 30 of them -- to check toner, clear paper jams, etc. Toner will make you high eventually, especially if you haven't eaten all day. Just a fact to keep in mind.
Season Ticket Sales, Opryland USA Oooh, big promotion from the info booth and I could wear pants...
Hostess, Ruby Tuesdays They really shouldn't have hired me. They didn't have enough work for all the hostesses and kept sending me home. I needed a regular paycheck and quit after three weeks of three days each.
First shift crew member, McDonalds This is the regular paycheck I found after I quit Ruby's. Possibly a mistake, but the only way out I could find at the time. Also hellish. Shift started at 5 a.m. then grad school immediately afterwards. Not pleasant at all. Trust me on this.
Work-Study Office Assistant, Dept. of Ophthalmology, UVA well we're movin' on up!!! Yee-ha, no uniform, no grease, no snotty customers. Just snotty doctors and the pay was better too! Also right on campus...
Assistant Billing Specialist, Dept of Ophthalmology, UVA This was an actual REAL job I got hired for since I had been such a great office assistant on workstudy. I love Claudia still!
Substitute Teacher, Harpeth Hall Academy I substituted in a drama class and freaked them out when I improv-d with them. Then I freaked them out by remembering their names the next time I subbed. I rocked.
Temporary Worker, mainly data entry stuff Kelly Agency How many times can you hear "You're so much better than our regular secretary, we wish we could fire her and hire you instead" without one day asking "well, why dontcha?" I had to find another job before I discovered the answer...
Academic Credentials Evaluator, College of Arts & Science, Vanderbilt University This was the job I found. Another REAL job I was too dumb to recognize as having potential for a future. First semi-decent salary with benefits too...
Administrative Assistant for Overseas Study, Vanderbilt University But the Overseas Study program needed a major overhaul, and thus I thought it needed me. Well, at least Vandy paid for the extraction of my wisdom teeth, even if this job and Luigi did give me an ulcer in the bargain...
Data Entry Temp, Dept of Purchasing (via Manpower agency) I learned the words to many (too many) country songs during this semester but after Overseas Study, it was a blessing to go home with no cares!
Graduate Student Instructor, Indiana University Best job so far. I love teaching. I absolutely love myself when I am teaching. Hmmmm....
Crew member, Pier I imports (don't ever work for these people!) The next time someone says "Well, a job's a job after all!" slap them. For me. Please. Also, be aware that in order to qualify for FMLA benefits and maternity leave, you have to have worked someplace at least a full year. Otherwise they can feel free to chuck you out, after they've asked you to climb a 10 foot ladder and gotten really pissed when you refuse because you are 7 months pregnant. But they didn't fire me, they just could have. Assholes.
Stay-at-home mom I'm really good at this one. And it's a lot like teaching. With less paperwork. Most of the time.
Wonder what will come next???? I'll take suggestions...
Is what I have been on for the past few nights. My tiny downstairs bathroom has been driving me crazy for months and last week I bought this weird little foamy roller thing and wow, I've just gone nuts with it. Here's the painting tally for the past three nights:
Tuesday: I sanded and re-painted the places in the upstairs bathroom where I ripped out the old rotting wooden towel bars (I replaced them with chrome and patched the holes several months ago). Unfortunately, I grabbed the wrong can of leftover paint and painted them the icy blue color the downstairs bathroom had been instead of the icy lavendar the upstairs bathroom is now... I also (also unfortunately) decided to paint the plastic-y "wooden" trim around the built in cabinet. This was a big mistake since it just looked messy and was, as previously mentioned, the wrong paint in the first place.
Then I painted the downstairs bathroom vanity -- really re-painted since I had already done it once a month or so ago but left about a zillion nasty brush marks in it -- in the fantastic green paint we chose from the Nickelodean collection at Lowes. It's a really electric spring green and I can't remember the actual name right now. Looks great now that there are several coats and it's dry. Also finished the upper panel of the door in the same color.
Then I painted the shelves and one lower wall of the laundry room using up the rest of the paint from the old downstairs bathroom. The shelves and wall behind them had been this hideous 1940's pink and the wall below is stacked stone that had been painted a dull green. It's all icy blue now and very shiny. I love it! That's going to be my new downstairs pantry for canned stuff and extra 12-packs of various things that come in 12-packs. Like beverages. Or whatever.
I went to bed waaaay too late that night (or the next morning...)!
Wednesday: I painted the ceiling in the downstairs bathroom a really funky turquoise color -- like a Greek island sea.... The whole room is probably only 4x4, but I'd not let the roller thingy dry enough from the green paint the night before and ended up making an enormous splattery mess, also I was trying to paint the ceiling with a tiny foam roller (3 inches across) on a long pole with no ladder. I am an idiot. But once I re-touch the top of the walls it will be lovely. And I did the bottom panel of the door (the back of the door which is inside the bathroom) in the same color.
Went to bed much earlier that night. But probably still too late since we had playgroup at our house today at 10 a.m. and I couldn't haul myself out of bed until 9:15...
Thursday (earlier tonight): Found the right paint for the upstairs bathroom and re-re-touched up the fixed spots (which were looking really freaky in the wrong color blue), ripped the heating duct cover off the wall -- taking a big chunk of drywall off with it, which I had to spackle and will now have to re-touch tomorrow night because, as previously stated, I am an idiot -- Scraped and sanded the duct cover, which looks much better now. It only had about five gobby layers of old paint on it.... most of which was probably lead based, so it's been nice knowing you.... Found the "wild wisteria" purple paint I had bought for Mara's little table -- which I ended up staining and poly-ing instead -- and decided to use it for the upstairs cabinet and trimwork, including the duct cover, which I painted directly.
Then put a second coat on the downstairs bathroom ceiling and bottom door panel -- and actually stirred the paint first this time, so the color is much more like what I picked than the first coat had been -- and did a much neater job this time, so once that dries I can fix the walls and be DONE at last with most of that bathroom! Still need to finish the window trim but that may have to wait until spring so I can open the window without freezing us out.
And then I did the built-in cupboard and edge trim around it in the wisteria -- well actually I didn't do the whole thing. I painted the bottom two doors, removed the top two because the hinges need to be scraped and sanded and the doors need to be planed a little -- but I got all the trim done around it and it doesn't look like a mess anymore. Hurray!
And now I am going to bed. Still much too late. But that was good work and I am immensely happy about it! Ending here, at 2:20 a.m. and off to bed!
This, I suspect, is nothing I'm likely to hear anytime soon. I wish I could understand why it is so infernally hard for me to get the bills paid on time. I feel like Linda Loman... some days I feel like Willie Loman (after the car crash). Ugh.
Tomorrow is the day. I will sit down with all of the mess and sort it out. I will make a schedule. I will make a budget. I will fix it. Because I have to. Now.
I hate this part of myself. I hate that the person I married is no more organized than I am -- about this stuff anyway. I hate that if there were even a little bit more money, it wouldn't matter and I wouldn't have to juggle the bills to make everything come out allright; I'd just write the checks and be DONE with it at the beginning of the month. I hate that people who can pay cash (because they have more money to start with) don't get stuck with interest charges or late fees or any of the crap that poorer people have to put up with. That seems so backwards to me. Seems like if you have more money, you shouldn't end up getting to pay LESS. No wonder our economy is in the toilet. It just doesn't make sense!
And the ironic thing is this: in relative terms, we are pretty well off. I have a roof over my head. I have clothes to wear. We can afford food and treats and I usually have gas in my car to escape my house (with the cool roof). So why am I bitching, right? I just hate the juggling act. I hate having to make hard choices about where the money will go. I mean it's not like Tim isn't working hard -- as hard as any idiotic CEO -- in fact I'd challenge most of the folks making big bucks to try doing what a high school teacher does for a week and see who ought to be making 200K a year. And I just hate that it feels so unfair. Yes, I am a SAHM, and while that is partly a choice that I made for my kids and myself, it's also an economic reality that we couldn't afford daycare on the salary I was making before we had kids. We all make money choices. I get that. I just hate that MINE feel so damned limited sometimes!
So there. I'll stop whining now. Maybe. (If it's bothering you, you don't have to read this you know!)
I have a very special person in my life who has problems (yeah, now all of you sit down and try to figure out which of you I'm talking about... hee hee) And some of her problems are pretty similar to my own. And some of her history is pretty similar to my own. Lots of it is different, naturally, but we both have a tendency to imagine that our bad stuff is too bad to share with anybody.
But tonight we did share some of the worst and it was really good -- you know, not easy, but afterwards a relief? I mean this was stuff you don't tell lightly, or sometimes at all. And I while we've been getting closer, I'm not sure this particular conversation was inevitable. So I'm happy that we could take out some of the heavy shit and spread the load around. I'm happy to realize that we don't have to carry this old baggage all on our own anymore -- that the telling makes it lighter. That confronting and sharing and owning, or disowning, makes a difference -- really.
Because I love us both. And we are all better just by realizing we are not alone!
Okay, I answered hers, now here are some questions for Kym-a-la-la-la. If you want to play the interview game, comment below or email me and I'll think up fabulous and intriguing questions just for you, which you can then answer on your blog or by email or whatever.
1. What is your favorite time of year and why?
2. What do you think is your greatest strength as a person, and what one aspect of yourself do you think still needs work?
3. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and who would you take with you?
4. What is the best thing about your relationship with Gene?
5. What's one thing you think your parents (separately or together, you choose) did really well for you while you were growing up?
6. What do you wish for Delaney's and Greyson's futures?
That's not really a fair title. Really all is well, and I'm sure she'll be just as perfect as she ever was, even if the stitches show a little... but I remember a story my mother used to tell about when I, at the age of two or so, fell (well, jumped really) off the front porch and knocked out one of my front teeth. One of her acquaintances said, snottily I'm sure, "well, I guess your little darling isn't perfect anymore!" Of course she was wrong. I was, and am, perfection personified, but that wasn't what I was blogging about -- not in this entry anyway.
Thursday night after ballet we were in the "lunch store" down the street where the mama's convene while the three best friends go to dance class. Kym had gone to get the girls and I was sitting there planning my evening in my head when they surrounded us, clamoring for candy sticks to take home. After some negotiation, Mara and I agreed that a Tutti-Frutti candy stick would be an acceptable dessert to take home. But as I turned to the counter, Mara slipped off the chair where she'd been sitting up on her knees. I guess her ballet tights made her legs slippery on the vinyl seat cushion and she went down in between two chairs and landed with a sickening thump on the floor. -- At least that's how Kym describes it. I can't remember all of it anymore, which is probably a blessing.
Not realizing that she was badly hurt, I scolded my baby for being up on her knees and not sitting flat on her bottom -- I have to tell her to sit flat about 800 times each day, always fearing she will do exactly what had just happened. But then I saw the blood. Luckily I didn't realize right then how bad it was. I just saw the half-inch gash in her upper lip and figured stitches would be inevitable. I didn't realize there was a corresponding gash inside and two loose teeth to boot. Kym was dispatched home with ballet shoes (and the candy stick, which Mara insisted on claiming through the wet paper towel I was holding over her mouth) to give Tim the news, and Mari and I took off for the ER. Very calm, we both were. She was crying a little, and wanting to know where we were going, but it was really very calm. "My teeth feel funny" she kept saying.
And I couldn't find a parking space! I'm circling the hospital's three lots, and there's no space and my baby is trying so hard not to cry and there's no damned space! We finally found one really far away and I started to carry her in but every step jarred her mouth so I convinced her to try walking and that helped. And the emergency room story is not really worth telling except that she was incredible. We waited for over two hours and then she had to have two stitches and through it all she was amazing. Very patient, so brave, and listening all the time to what I was telling her and believing me when I said it would be okay...
That was Thursday. Yesterday we spent feeding her a liquid diet with a medicine dropper -- even Jello hurt too much to eat! But she was in good spirits and our friends called to check and brought pictures and presents and all their good wishes. Tonight she was eating macaroni & cheese and olives at the Olive Garden and back to her old sassy self. The swelling on the outside of her lip has gone down, but the inside of her mouth is still a mess, so we're off to the doctor tomorrow -- thankfully our regular pediatrician is covering the weekend so we can get in on Sunday morning! And her teeth have not gone black yet, so there may be hope yet. We see the dentist on Monday. I'll keep you posted.
It's been a hard weekend, and not at all the one I had planned. She just wasn't the kid I expected to end up with stitches, y'know? But thanks to everyone for having my back on this one. I needed you all so badly!
1. What is your favorite foreign accent?
This one is easy. My favorite accent is a Scots accent, especially an Aberdonian or Glaswegian accent -- partly because I just can't DO the accent at all, and partly because it makes me homesick for Aberdeen -- accents, cigarette smoke on a drizzly day and the smell of bus fumes are three things that always bring back my amazing year abroad! That's one part of my life I would definitely go back and do all over again, without changing anything. -- oh wait, I might go to Greece with Barb & Sandy...
2. What is your greatest strength as well as your greatest weakness as a parent?
My greatest weakness is laziness. I don't do enough with the kids because fingerpaint is a pain in the ass and playdough is a pain in the ass and generally getting up off the sofa is often a pain in the ass. (Also I get bored easily)
My greatest strength...
is probably the fact that I respect my kids as people. I'm not into that whole "because I'm the mommy that's why" thing. After all, they didn't ASK to get born -- that was all my fabulous idea. Sure, sometimes I need them to do stuff just because I need them to do stuff, but if it's important enough for me to insist on it, I feel like I owe them a decent reason why -- even if it's just "because my head hurts when you make that banging noise so loud" and even if I have to say "I will have to explain later but right now I just need you to do this for me, please." If you can't give a reason for what you need kids to do, I figure maybe you need to re-evaluate what you are asking of them. Also I am very much a believer in moderation and flexibility. I reserve the right to change my mind and say "Well, I made a big mistake, let's not do that thing I was being kinda crazy about before!" Because I think parenting is all about recognizing and owning up to your mistakes. I mean how else can we show kids that it's okay to admit you're wrong... I like that about my parenting very much, but I think it's really just another off-shoot of my respect for my kids.
3. If you could switch bodies with one person for a week, who would you choose and what would you do with their life while inhabiting their body?
Wow. That's really hard. I have big time body issues, but this question is not really about bodies... You could really change the world by choosing the right person to switch with, but then I have to also consider who I would trust with MY body for the week. I've avoided some behaviors because of physical risk, so I don't wanna come back and discover I've been on Atkins for a week, or find freaky tattoos and piercings and stuff, or a nasty "social" disease or learn that I've been skydiving and now can't walk anymore... I think if I could put my own body in some kinda cold storage for a week I might answer very differently... I can't do this one right now. I reserve the right to not really answer but maybe come back with a whole blog entry about it later. This one needs lots more thought!
4. Do you think the Democrats will pull something together for the next election? If not, will you vote Nader?
I'm frankly frightened by the Democratic circus. I want to believe in Dean, but that seems pretty hokey right now (sorry Amy!). I want Kerry to pull through, but I kinda don't see it happening. I begin to wonder if the best idea wouldn't be to pull Bill out of wherever he is these days and make him run again. We just don't have anyone charismatic enough -- and isn't that saying something when you aren't charismatic enough to beat Shrub? Ugh. I really need to learn more about it all. (Hmmm...maybe I should stop getting all my news from "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central) I won't vote Nader though. He kinda creeps me out.
5. Why do you think you and I got together?
This is also a very complicated question. The simple answer is that we were destined to find each other eventually. (Ha! That's the simple answer?) But there are other things too: our spouses play together very nicely, our kids are of an appropriate age to adore each other, we have similar parenting styles and similar political and philosophical views -- but not too similar so things still stay interesting. You are fun to be with, fun to talk to, fun to listen to. You are a deeply caring person and you show so much integrity in the way you live your life and move through the world! You have really interesting ideas and insights. I've learned so much from you in just one year! Also you are a hot little feminist mama who makes me feel fabulous and you love me and you needed me, which I needed. And I love you forever and ever. But that whole last part of the paragraph is really more about why we stayed together than why we got together. Wow, the whole world really needed to see those answers, huh?
I am working on questions for you. But right now I am sleepy. Gotta go tend to the split-lip kid! (and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Kym & Gene!)
My almost four year old has discovered gender divisions. Now, I am not lamenting that this is so, well not exactly. I was pretty well prepared for fending off ideas about what boys do and what girls do, but day-um, I was NOT ready to do it all in a single day!
Today, courtesy of Mara's new realizations about the world, our whole family learned the following facts:
1. Tan, blue, green, and brown are "not girl colors." Items in these colors are unacceptable for girls, even if they are embroidered all over with flowers and butterflies and very cute little pictures of fruit. Red is a girl color. Pink is also acceptable.
2. Girls do not play drums. Boys play drums. Girls play harmonicas and sing. (sometimes they do this simultaneously, which has a kazoo-like effect).
3. Anyone wearing a scarf on a head must be a girl. Boys (or daddies) do not wear scarves on their heads. Ever. For any reason. Unless they are trying to dress up like a girl.
4. Boys sing in low voices. Girls sing in high voices. Mommies with alto voices would do well to adopt at least a second soprano unless they want a long commentary from the backseat on how they are not singing "right".
5. Boys, even tiny little baby brother boys, should not wear dresses. Even for dressing up. And sparkly necklaces are right out of the question for boys. (although big sisters in construction worker hats are still okay for the moment... go figure).
All of this is driving me crazy. And it does no good to point out that it's fun to wear sparkly necklaces, and all our best dress-ups are dresses -- even the fabulous prince outfit is now deemed a dress and not a prince shirt after all (although since it's brown, it ought not to be an acceptable girl thing either, at least as I understand the world of Mara)... Also doesn't matter that she loves to play the drums, or that my voice is just not quite as high as "a girl voice" and it hurts to sing up high for too long... ARGH.
Somebody tell me this is a phase that will pass. I want my tiny feminist back!