It's really no surprise that if you google the combination of "President," "Bush," and "Moron" you get about eleventy gagillion pages of websites linking the three words. Just stands to reason, doesn't it?
Because really, the central most important issue facing our nation today is preventing those damned gay men and lesbians from wrecking the sanctity of marriage by choosing monogamy, declaring their love publicly and trying to ruin the American economy by expecting domestic partner benefits. Those jerks are making a mockery of marriage and they must be stopped. Don't you agree? I just wish I could figure out why I was surprised by Shrub's fabulous suggestion that we strike up a constitutional amendment to limit civil rights for half the country just cause he's irked (and it sings with the psycho-christians at the polls in an election year). Besides, it's not like the Patriot Act hasn't already taken a sledge hammer to the bill of rights... Forget George Orwell, Margaret Atwood is a fucking psychic genius.*
The ridiculous thing about all of this is how futile it is. I mean, if you really want to revive the sanctity of marriage, you ought to write a constitutional amendment to eliminate DIVORCE, not one that specifies the kinds of people who can decide to get married in the first place. How does preventing people from getting married ensure that marriage is sacred? I say we make sure anybody who takes that sacred step is firmly stuck there forever. And we eliminate the tax break you get for paying alimony that way too. We'll save the government some cash and preserve the sanctity of marriage, because I suspect there'd be a whole heck of a lot fewer folks stepping up and taking marriage so fucking lightly if they knew it really was til death do us part. (Okay, I'll admit that the homicide rate is likely to jump exponentially, but as long as marriage is safe who cares, right?)
I also want to say, for the record, how proud I am of my husband for his six year membership in the "terrorist organization" that is the National Education Association (according to the Moron Administration). As Sarah says, "Union -- the people who brought you the weekend..."
Oh yeah, and (with apologies to morons everywhere) did I mention the president is a moron?
* if you haven't read The Handmaid's Tale lately, find a copy and beware. It's becoming a reality, people, and if you're not scared, I want to know why. Because one thing worse than a moron in charge is a zealous freaky moron in charge.
The people who owned our house before us are liars.
Perfectly nice people. I'm sure well-intentioned, but liars all the same. For example, they said "No, there hasn't been any water damage..." and three weeks after we bought the place, the basement flooded. And not in that friendly and highly unpredictable it's-been- raining-for-two-weeks-straight-and-everyone-in-town's-basement-has-flooded kind of way. This was the kind of basement flooding that you realize happens every time it drizzles...
There are plenty of other things they didn't bother to tell us. Like how the room we're using as the playroom doesn't get any heat in the winter or air in the summer. Like how there's no water pressure in the upstairs bathroom and the downstairs toilet is non-functional because the valve is stuck closed... But they were trying to sell the house and some dishonesty is expected at this time. So mostly I'm mad at their claim that they loved our house. Because basically, no.
*I* love this house. How do I know the difference? Well, it's pretty simple: you don't love a house and put in plastic wood-grained trim in the bathroom when you "up-date" it. You don't fasten the upstairs toilet down with lag bolts for pete's sake! I mean Lag Bolts??? I ask you --- why? Why oh why would you not just look up toilet installation on the internet and realize you need a completely different kind of bolt, attached to a flange so the freakin toilet doesn't start rocking back and forth six months later because the bolts have worn a bigger hole than your imbecilic lag bolts can handle? Easy answer really, you do it because you're an idiot. You do it because it's the half-assed easy way out and you don't plan to BE there in six months time and thus won't have to cope with the rocking damn toilet.
Listen, I have already replaced one toilet in this fabulous house. And THAT was one toilet more than I really wanted to install. I deeply resent the fact that I'm now going to have to screw with ANOTHER toilet, just because they didn't do it right in the first place. It's not even that toilets are all that complicated to install, they just couldn't be bothered to figure it out. And I'm mad because if you really loved a house, you'd just do it right the first time.
Not because YOU have to put up with it, but because the house deserves it. If you really loved a house, you'd grab a gallon of paint and clean up the crappy basement. If you really loved a house, you'd make sure the downspouts were seated right and there wouldn't BE any flooding (and then you wouldn't have to lie about it).
So don't tell me you loved the house. Tell me you loved living there, sure. That would have been true. I have total confidence in the truth of that statement. But they never really loved our house and that makes me really mad.
Also, I painted the workshop room in the basement today. That's only one more step in my basement renovations, but already it looks so much better! The new peg-board is also awesome. All my tools are finally having a home.
Note: WE love our house. It's really coming together. This summer we're tiling the upstairs bathroom. We'll be restoring with an actual wooden trim that matches the stuff in the rest of the house and replacing the hardware in the bathtub and shower to fix the blasted water pressure... and, obviously we're fixing the wobbly freakin' toilet. Nuf said.
So here's the thing (another thing obviously...) throwing on the wheel is simultaneously not as easy as it looks and also not as hard as you might think.
I've been taking a class at Art & Clay (our local "paint your own pottery" joint) and we've had three weeks of classes and are now on the wheel. I hated slab and coil and pinch pots -- understand the need for them, but now I have a pile of "decorative" pieces when I should have made some utilitarian bowls instead.
Why I thought an 8 inch tall pyramid with removable lid was a great idea I will never understand. I liked the challenge of the triangular slabs I guess. But I was also rebelling against the "make a box with a lid using slab" instructions. Who needs a dumb box with a lid? What a waste of time. Anyway...
Like I said, I get why we had to go through those two weeks. I understand the need to feel what the clay will do. I understand the need to start slowly. But now that I'm on the wheel, I want those two weeks back for more time on the wheel!
Tonight I threw three pieces and was able to keep all three. One of which is an actual vase. With a lip and a fat body and thinner neck and everything. I've made several vase-ish things -- two small cylinders and a teeny chalice -- also a weird basket-like thing that I probably should have trashed except I wanted to see how much I could continue to manipulate the clay by cutting it and sticking two sloppy sides together. I like the effect (mostly) and that was learning too.
And I am having so much fun. I'm on the kick wheel -- available for purchase from Columbus Clay for just $510.00 (shipping included) and throwing left-handed which is a trip. I freaked out my classmates with that one, but Lynn, my instructor seems to think it's okay. I do so much left-handed already that it made sense -- also didn't feel right to do it the other way. I couldn't get my hands in the right position, kept torquing the clay trying to do it that way. But once I was left-handed and on the kick wheel I was golden.
I love this. I may sell my guitar and start saving for a kick wheel and kiln right now. Yippeee! Thanks to everybody who contributed to this event. But don't all be holding your breath for clay objects at Christmas. I'm not sure I can wait that long to share the joy! If I can borrow somebody's digicam I may upload pics of the stuff as it dries. I have this horror that it's all going to blow up in bisque fire next week. Keep your fingers crossed for me!