Some of my friends -- and keep in mind, these are people who generally like the same kinds of books I like, enjoy similiar movies and forms of humor, people with whom I actually have many many things in common -- are in the middle of a recurring obsession I simply cannot understand.
And they are not the only ones.
Apparently, the obsession is widespread, because American Idol is currently the #1 show in the U.S. -- and I just don't get why. (The fact that it's also the #6 show, is another phenomenon that doesn't make any sense to me). I have watched part of a show and maybe that wasn't enough, but I think I got the point and I just didn't understand the thrill. I just wanted to smack all three judges and I wondered about the sad lives the contestants must have to bring them before a group of people who would inevitably insult, mock and otherwise humiliate them on national television.
I think maybe I just don't get "reality" TV.
I gotta go watch the Colbert Report. I need some real news.
Somebody explain this AI thing to me please -- that's what the comments page is for you know. Really, I want to understand!
for those of you who still lost and confused...
I have always wanted to play the guitar. But not very many people know this.
Actually, first I wanted to play violin. However, when you are a kid, the problem with playing violin is two-fold. First you have to have a violin, and they are not cheap, unless you rent one and play strings at school. Second, if you rent one and play strings at school you end up looking like a drooling moron -- okay, my apologies to Sue and Jean if this is how you learned violin, but everyone in Nashville who played strings at school with a rented violin had their glasses mended across the nose piece with white adhesive tape or wore shoes suitable for repairing clubfeet. It was not a pretty group of folks and the strings instructor -- there was just one for all of the elementary schools -- was even worse.
What I wanted was a violin that I actually owned and private lessons so I could go practice in my bedroom where nobody could hear me. But that was going to be expensive, so I kinda never told my parents about it and instead ended up taking piano lessons, which sucked. I don't really like the piano as an instrument (mainly because I could not take it to my bedroom and practice where nobody could hear me), my teacher was really used to little kids and the "Keyboard Arts" instructional method, neither of which suited me. I mean I'm sure it helps your technique to practice on whatever you've got handy, but the molded plastic keyboards that looked like 3-D piano placemats were just stupid and I wasn't very good at keeping that opinion to myself.
Sooooo, then I got to high school and all the coolest kids were either playing guitar or dating somebody who was playing guitar. I did date one of the guitar guys the summer after graduation, but then he went to Governor's school for 2 months and I went to college and you know how that goes...
Sooooo, for my 30th birthday, my dad sent me $300 for something really special. I was five months pregnant with Mara, working at Pier I, a little depressed because I was starting to lose all sense of self (and also because I had a master's degree but the best job I could get in this crappy town was working at Pier I for $5.65/hr), so the decision of how to spend the money seemed very important. I thought about it for a long time. I think if I had been potting by then, I probably would have bought a wheel, but there wouldn't have been a good place to put it in our apartment then, so maybe I wouldn't have after all.
Then, somewhere in the middle of this debate with myself over what my 30th birthday meant and what the special symbol of my future self should be, I stumbled into the local music store. And I knew. I wanted my future self to be the kind of person who played the guitar. And, coincidentally, I now had the money to be the kind of person who OWNED a guitar -- a fairly nice guitar actually. So I bought the Alvarez, and I was thrilled. It really does sound good and it's beautiful, still. And I bought several "teach yourself guitar" books and I was ready to go. What a great present Dad! Guitar playing destiny, here I come!
However, I had neglected to take two important details into consideration. First, I had four months of pregnancy left to go. And second, I was going to have a baby to deal with at the end of those four months. So I messed around with the guitar for a couple of weeks and then suddenly (it seemed like all of a sudden anyway) I was too big to hold the guitar in front of me. There was all this pregnant belly where the guitar was supposed to go and I was too tired to practice much anyway. And then I had the baby -- my wonderful Mara girl -- and I was still too tired to practice and too busy and, and, and...
The other problem I had discovered was that the body of the Alvarez is just a little bit too big for me to sit comfortably and play. The long and the short of it is this, my boob gets in the way and when I sit cross-legged to play, my right arm starts to fall asleep from pressing on the body of the guitar. I can play it very well standing up, but who wants to learn the guitar standing up? So I didn't do much playing.
Then last year, just five short years after buying my guitar, I met this amazing (and largely insane) group of women who were starting a knitting group. And most of them also play guitar. So we'd talk guitar and we'd knit and somebody would occasionally bring a guitar (or three) to knitting night. And we'd sing and I'd talk about wanting to play, and everyone suggested that since I was teaching them all how to do socks, they could teach me how to play guitar. And when Rachelle went to buy her new guitar we all went with her to hear the little Martin she was considering (she didn't buy that one, I think she got a Garrison instead). And then everyone went with me to see if we could find a trade-in for the Alvarez that wasn't so big. That was a hilarious experience -- all of us piled in the music store trying out guitars -- But since I wasn't going to get a decent trade-in price, and since everyone convinced me that it really is a good guitar, I kept the Alvarez. I was happy with that decision, but I wasn't playing, because it just didn't feel comfortable and I wasn't having any fun.
Then, around October or November of this year, Connie brought out her Martin backpacker and I fell in love. The backpacker is cool because it doesn't even look like a guitar -- even though it sounds like one. It's teensy and solves the "boob in the way" problem I was having with the big guitar. It fits, in fact, right up under my right breast and I can curl up on the floor cross-legged and practice in complete comfort.
So I asked for the backpacker for Christmas and instead of saying, "Um you already HAVE a guitar you're not playing, why do you need another one?" my parents ordered one for me. Actually, my mom got on-line and figured out how to order it all by herself, which is even more impressive. And last week I took it to knitting and learned three chords and now I know about seven. Even F, and that one's really hard!
So that's the story of me and the guitar. Hope it helps!
to a whole bunch of really fun songs. Including the entire Ralph's World At the Bottom of the Sea album! Whoooppeeeeee! I'm gonna be able to play the Sunny Day Rainy Day Anytime Band with the kids!
I gotta go practice.
In other news, why is my boy either an angel or a devil and never just a regular boy who is a little bit good and a little bit naughty? Because I'll tell you in all honesty, when he is good, he is VERY VERY good, and when he is bad, he is HORRID! And that is just too cliched for my world right now!
well, not right this minute obviously. But I did play for about an hour this evening andI actually sounded pretty good. Here are the chords I know now:
C, G, Am, D, Em, F, A
You can play a helluva a lot of songs with just those chords. Including, Leaving on a Jet Plane, This Land is Your Land and Miss You Til I Meet You, from the new Dar Williams album.
My fingers hurt. But it's a good hurt. Right?
Also, Matthew has a raging ear infection and since he is fascinated with which ear has the medicine in it, he is also learning his left from his right. So see, there are little advantages to everything. He is gonna be so impressed when I can play the guitar for him tomorrow!
Thanks for the backpacker Mom & Dad. It rocks!
Okay, I was gonna upload a picture of my kids from Halloween, but the system is so damned slow tonight that I am not gonna do that now.
Now you're all caught up. And I have wash to switch over.
I am bored. I am tired of being bored. I am, in fact, bored of being bored. I suspect that I am actually becoming boring I am so bored.
This recurring dilemma is boring.
This blog entry is boring.
Sigh.